Its CNY eve today.. It should be a joyous period for all chinese, however the joyous mood that I should have is just not the same as before.. The festive period made me miss my grandma even further.. It's the first time going thru the season without the presence of her which made it even harder for me to accept the fact that she is gone.. The memories and flashbacks kept coming back to me. I m trying to be normal but i just cant do it..
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CNY today.. unusual, not the same, not preparing to go my grandma hse to bai nian... seems weird.. i miss her mian xian... usual breakfast on cny... not anymore frm this yr onward.. the feeling of not able to greet her again is hard to accept... not sure whether isit ah ma blessing us.. she let my dad strike 4d and dad gave me a sum of money.. a form of substitution as a red packet frm my grandma? i believe it is..i believe she is watching us frm above and protecting us frm harm.. missing her... alot of things cannot be done or should i say not being done this cny... something is missing.. hope its gonna be a peaceful yr for my family
